I WAIT

So here I am....waiting. I want so badly to get that e-mail, that phone call, that letter.....telling me they have my child. I get nothing. The past couple of days have been torture for me. I sit and think about going through another Thanksgiving...another Christmas....with this huge hole in my heart. All the while I listen to my sister talk about her baby's heart beat. I go with my mom and her ANYWHERE and we have to go through the baby section.....

I think how unfair it is that me and my husband are unable to have children when we are financially stable, sound minded people and others are given children who come into a world where they will never get the nourishment they need or the things they want, or worse, battle a drug addiction when they come into this world. I know you aren't supposed to question God or His will and I try soooo hard not to. My husband, who got baptized WITH me, and never goes to church with me, has more faith in our Creator than I. I never miss a Sunday meeting, I'm involved with my church Praise Team and do everything I can to build my relationship with Him; yet I'm stuck in this depression of feeling forgotten; wondering if I am not supposed to raise a child in this crazy world, why am I here?

And still.....I wait!!!