OUR FIRST REFERRAL

So today, I heard from our case worker for the first time since we completed our paper work. I realize she told us it might take a while, but I was getting a little anxious. There is still no sign of my paperwork from my FBI file, so that is holding us up. I saw my e-mail icon pop up for one of the "endless" times it comes up daily. I always helplessly click on it, hoping each time it's a message from her. Today, IT WAS.

"I have a new referral. It's for a 12 year old boy. Would you be interested?"

My mind started racing. Reality is beginning to set in. This is really REAL. Since my little sister found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks ago, I've endured hearing my mom gushing over her and how she can't wait until the baby arrives. I've watched her picking out baby clothes and talking about how hard it would be for her to make it with buying milk and diapers. I've watched her eyes light up with the thought of having a new grandchild. I've felt so hopeless with thoughts that I might never be able to give her that same joy.

But we will be able to take a child who needs us and give it the best that we have to offer and love and cherish it with our WHOLE hearts. The child may not be my blood, but he or she will carry my heart. Shoot, it's already theirs. I'm just waiting for God to bring home our miracle.

We decided not to take the 12 year old boy. I would love nothing more than to give that child a loving and happy home. We just aren't ready for a teenager. I will pray for him to find a loving family and I know my God will take care of him. Josh and I are looking for a child we can start out with and raise with no distractions from memories of a broken home and crushed dreams. Our child will only remember the best things in life, as that is what we plan to deliver, with all our power and might.

OKAY...Cut to NOW!!!

So ALOT of things have happened since we got married that will always stay in our hearts and minds. We bought a Camry, a Jeep, two pickups, a 69 Camaro, two boats, a motorcycle, a four wheeler, a dump truck, a Mitsubishi Endeavor (and a Partridge in a Pear Tree) LOL. Traded the Camry and Jeep, sold the Camaro, motorcycle, boats and four wheeler. Our big investment was our home.

We finally moved out of our little trailer on which we worked so diligently. During the four years we lived there, we built on an extra room, put in a heat pump and put in a new stove. His grandmother now rents the trailer and repaid us by paying off one of Josh's vehicles.

At this time, we are adopting a child. Seven years of marriage and thousands of dollars of infertility treatment have not yeilded a child for us. All of the prayers that have been lifted were not in vain, because we know God has a plan, and, even though it may not be OUR plan, He knows what he doing. We felt like it was His will not to bring a child into this crazy world. Instead, take a child that has already been born and is in need of a loving home, and provide him/her with all the love we have been storing up!!

So here we are. We just completed our last CLASS with our Case Worker and are waiting on my FBI profile to come back. Then she is coming to our house to go over our home study and we'll be set. We are anxious, nervous, excited, scared.......All at the same time. Plus my little sister just found out she is pregnant, so we have that to look forward to. We have been told that it could be a week or a month, but they are hoping to have us set with a child by December.

We are crossing our fingers that we can give a deserving child a Christmas he/she could only dream of!!!

God is Good!

This Ring I Give to You....

October 20, 2001: The day finally arrived. I was so nervous. All of my girls were going to show up around 2:00 p.m. We finally got all the dresses sized and the tuxes were in and everything was going well.....until me and my little sis went to get our hair "did" at a local salon. I HATED my hair. Come on!!! This was my wedding day!! My hair was supposed to be perfect..and it looked HORRID! I went home and scrambled to remove all of the bobby pins from the "up do" (and I use the term loosely). I grabbed a curling iron and just as I was about to scream, my best friend showed up to save the day! Ang fixed my hair and it looked fabulous. Not as great as I wanted it to look for my day, but MUCH better than what I PAID for.

We scheduled the wedding at 3:00 p.m. I know now that I was supposed to get married at half past some hour because of superstition. It all worked out though. The guests started arriving and I was standing in the annex watching everyone, dying for a smoke (I know it's yucky, but I did it back then), but not able to have one because my family knew not of my habit :). The time drew closer and closer and suddenly April, May, June, July....they all seemed so close where they were once so far away. Memories of the last few months shot through my mind like rockets. It was all going so quickly now. It seemed like only yesterday we sat on the floor in an empty trailer, admiring our hard work and enjoying every minute we spent together. Just yesterday, he dropped to one knee and asked for my hand in marriage, all the while I was stunned that I thought he had fallen into the lake. Only yesterday, the world stopped turning when terrorists destroyed our way of life and killed so many innocent people and brought me to my knees with fear of no tomorrow.

And there I was, looking into the eyes of my "Mr. Right", as he waited for my daddy to turn me over to him. I knew it was all he could do to let me go, but he knew he had to do it. When asked who gave me to be married, with tear filled eyes, my daddy almost whispering, said, "Me and her mother" and slowly walked back to join her. The preacher, whom I had adored my entire life, began his prayers and vows and they, too, seemed like only seconds. "This ring I give to you, in token and pledge, of our constant faith, and abiding love".

In what seemed to be seconds, it was over and all the planning and preparation was complete. We were now, Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Vaughn Prater.

In a whirlwind, we were off to start our life together, with the hand of God on our shoulders, guiding us through the thick forest. We were now ONE!

Goin' to the Chapel

While working on our home, we were also planning our "big day"; taking every penny we could scrape together and buying little things for our wedding. A hundred dollars from each of my paydays went toward my dress, that I picked out of a "Modern Bride" book. Since I lived on my own, the rest went toward bills. Most of his extra money went to little extras on the trailer. October 20, 2001, couldn't come quickly enough. Each new month brought more anxiety. "Can you believe we only have two more months till we'll be married?" September came and we grew even more excited. The month went on and we were ALMOST ready to walk down the aisle. Just a few more things. We got our rings and that caused some sweat. :)

With all of our anticipation, we kept working and pushing on. One morning, after just getting to work and settling in, I heard my boss come in yelling, "They've bombed the World Trade Center and the Pentagon....Come on Crystal....we'll go watch it!" We went to the house next door (his mother's house) and watched as the second tower was hit and then when they crumbled. With each second, my anxiety grew. Would we be next? Would someone fly a plane into the ground and kill my family or myself? Would I never get to marry the man of my dreams? How can this be happening.

I called immediately and requested that we move the wedding up. "We can get married in your mamaw's front yard. I don't care if anyone but our close family shows up. I just want to be able to be with you at this time and know everything is okay." He did, as he always does, comfort me and tell me how silly I was to think that anything was going to happen to us in Eastern Kentucky.

With his words of kindness and love, I was okay again!!!