So today, I heard from our case worker for the first time since we completed our paper work. I realize she told us it might take a while, but I was getting a little anxious. There is still no sign of my paperwork from my FBI file, so that is holding us up. I saw my e-mail icon pop up for one of the "endless" times it comes up daily. I always helplessly click on it, hoping each time it's a message from her. Today, IT WAS.
"I have a new referral. It's for a 12 year old boy. Would you be interested?"
My mind started racing. Reality is beginning to set in. This is really REAL. Since my little sister found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks ago, I've endured hearing my mom gushing over her and how she can't wait until the baby arrives. I've watched her picking out baby clothes and talking about how hard it would be for her to make it with buying milk and diapers. I've watched her eyes light up with the thought of having a new grandchild. I've felt so hopeless with thoughts that I might never be able to give her that same joy.
But we will be able to take a child who needs us and give it the best that we have to offer and love and cherish it with our WHOLE hearts. The child may not be my blood, but he or she will carry my heart. Shoot, it's already theirs. I'm just waiting for God to bring home our miracle.
We decided not to take the 12 year old boy. I would love nothing more than to give that child a loving and happy home. We just aren't ready for a teenager. I will pray for him to find a loving family and I know my God will take care of him. Josh and I are looking for a child we can start out with and raise with no distractions from memories of a broken home and crushed dreams. Our child will only remember the best things in life, as that is what we plan to deliver, with all our power and might.
"I have a new referral. It's for a 12 year old boy. Would you be interested?"
My mind started racing. Reality is beginning to set in. This is really REAL. Since my little sister found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks ago, I've endured hearing my mom gushing over her and how she can't wait until the baby arrives. I've watched her picking out baby clothes and talking about how hard it would be for her to make it with buying milk and diapers. I've watched her eyes light up with the thought of having a new grandchild. I've felt so hopeless with thoughts that I might never be able to give her that same joy.
But we will be able to take a child who needs us and give it the best that we have to offer and love and cherish it with our WHOLE hearts. The child may not be my blood, but he or she will carry my heart. Shoot, it's already theirs. I'm just waiting for God to bring home our miracle.
We decided not to take the 12 year old boy. I would love nothing more than to give that child a loving and happy home. We just aren't ready for a teenager. I will pray for him to find a loving family and I know my God will take care of him. Josh and I are looking for a child we can start out with and raise with no distractions from memories of a broken home and crushed dreams. Our child will only remember the best things in life, as that is what we plan to deliver, with all our power and might.
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