I got news from our case worker yesterday that "Frankfort" lost my information from a background check they did back in mid October. Josh got his results within a week or so and mine never showed up. Since that time, I have asked over and over and over if they had received them and kept getting the same response. "Nothing yet. Sometimes it takes longer on one." All this time, waiting on only this piece of information to complete our preparation to move to the next step, which is placement.
Pretty much confirmed my suspicion that this isn't what we need to be doing. I've had some doubts from the beginning, and those doubts resurfaced yesterday. I called Josh in tears again. Told him I was coming home to take that stupid lock off my pantry, move all my medicine back up in my cabinet and giving away the lock boxes we have sitting on our counter where our medicine is temporarily being kept. He tried to calm me down, but this time, the tears weren't tears of sadness. They were more like tears of relief. I wasn't really too upset about the way things happened. I am totally ready to lay it all down to let God do with it what he wants done. This is what I should have done to begin with, and outwardly thought I was. Deep inside, I knew I was trying to take things into my own hands and speed things along.
I forgot His time is the Right Time and I need not rush Him. He knows what's right for me. I am having issues with watching other people laugh and enjoy becoming pregnant and expecting a child, but my time will come. If not, then so be it. There is a reason and I'm not questioning it anymore!
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